Living life in the public eye sounds like my idea of hell, and you don’t even need to be on the level of the Kardashians to experience it. When Griminal first emerged in the mid-2000s, his name was mentioned in the same breath as young prodigies like Chip and Ice Kid. It was a high-pressure environment, with all eyes on him. For a while, he lived up to the hype and enjoyed a successful run. However, events beyond his control soon derailed that: his younger brother was murdered, and addiction soon got its claws into him.

The next decade wasn’t easy on Griminal as he wrestled with his demons, but after stepping away from the public eye, he began to put his life back together—piece by piece. He taught himself production, confronted his struggles and turned his life around. He’s now clean and sober, an accomplished producer, and he’s just released his new project, Grimace. It’s the first release on his newly minted label, Dynasty Worldwide. The imprint is strictly for his own material for now, but he’s not ruling anything out. Right now, his focus is on himself, which means giving everything to this run. Second chances don’t come easy, and it’s clear from speaking to him that he knows it.

Grimace was entirely self-produced, with Griminal—born Joshua Ramsey in East London—personally sourcing all of the features himself, with the support of a small but dedicated team around him. As he tells TRENCH, he’s not a perfectionist; he’s more focused on getting the job done. That doesn’t mean he rushed the process, though. In fact, he’s spent years working on the project, resisting the urge to release it too soon and waiting patiently for the right pieces to fall into place.

The result is an absolute triumph. It’s all there on wax—every drop of blood, sweat and tears, including a startlingly honest account of his struggles with grief and addiction. He doesn’t make excuses for himself, nor does he wallow in those experiences. Instead, he lays it all out with remarkable clarity, and that same candour carries through into our conversation.

TRENCH: Grimace is finally out! Congrats on a great body of work; it’s been a long road to get here. How does it feel now that it’s out in the world?

Griminal: It feels amazing, but at the same time, I’m still aware of how much more I want to do, how much more I’ve got to do. So it's both of those things at the same time.

I want to talk about the most recent single, “Personal”. For me, that’s actually my favourite song on the project…

—it’s a lot of people’s favourites.

You go into some quite dark subject matter on the track, and it feels like one of your most open and honest songs to date. What gave you the confidence to put something so personal on wax for everyone to hear, especially at this point in your life?

I’m just speaking from experience. The dark subject matter comes from having dark experiences, but it was about asking myself, “How do I tell this story and keep it authentic to who I am?” It started with the D Double E acapella on my computer that I’d just chuck on beats to see how it sounded, and that’s exactly what I did with this one. Eventually, I managed to make a hook out of it. The beat itself, which I produced as well, brought out that emotion and feeling in me while I was making it. I always knew I wanted to talk about this kind of stuff and make a song about it in my own way—something that felt authentic and raw.

At first, it was an acapella that I’d chopped up. I wrote the song, produced it, and then brought D Double back in to record it properly, so it’s not just a sample. But the subject matter was just real-life experiences—battling with certain things, the drugs and the alcohol which, at first, I was even scared to talk about. But I thought, you know what? It’s raw, it’s honest, and I think that comes across in the song. I think that’s what people are connecting to. So yeah, it’s a powerful thing for me. Very powerful. It means a lot.

The video feels just as raw and honest as the song itself, and Adam Deacon’s appearance really adds another layer to the story. How did that collaboration come about, and why did you feel he was the right person to be part of it?

So I had the song finished, and there’s a video director I work with called Rico (DirectedbyRico). We were on the phone talking through ideas about how to bring the track to life visually. One idea was to have some of the video centred around acting—me in therapy, D Double as the therapist, that kind of thing. Another was bringing in actors to tell a different side of the story. The song is about loss, battles and struggles. It’s told from the perspective of someone from my kind of background, and it touches on things like alcohol and drugs—how they can seem normal, even fun at first, before becoming something really destructive. Adam comes from the culture, and he’s also been open about his own journey with those kinds of struggles, so he just felt like the perfect fit for the role. I reached out to him, he was up for it, and that’s pretty much how it all started.

There was a period a little while ago where you were really struggling with a few things, and a lot of it played out quite publicly. You seem to be in a much better place now. What do you think turned things around for you?

Along the journey, there have definitely been moments where I’ve struggled. I’m sure it’s not a story that’s unique to me—loads of people go through similar things—but as far as my own journey goes, yeah, there were some difficult times. One thing I’m trying to get better at now is not picking up my phone and oversharing.

It’s a big lesson to learn. I think we all learn it, at some point.

Exactly. I actually regret doing that, but I know I’m getting better at it.

It’s relatable, though, and it’s been good to see so many people really behind you recently. It feels like everything’s going really well for you at the moment.

It definitely feels like that, and I hope it continues, because I don’t plan on stopping. I had a little run back in ‘09 or ‘10, and I’ve been through a lot since then. Some people might say I could’ve done more by now, or that I could be bigger than I am. To be honest, I wrestle with those thoughts myself sometimes, and that can be frustrating. But I just tell myself to focus on what I can do now—what I have to offer right now. From this point forward, it’s about continuing to build, continuing to create, and showing the world what I’ve got.

On a lighter note, I wanted to talk about the brilliant “When I’m ‘Ere” video with Nolay and Roachee. There’s a lot to unpack in that one—from the collaboration itself to the cameos and the whole wedding concept. Can you take me back to how it all came to be?

I was in talks with Nolay about doing another track that’s on Grimace called “Make It Clear”, and maybe doing a remix or something as well. Then, while we were working, I told her about another beat I had because I thought she’d sound good on it. She heard it, liked it, so we decided to meet up and write the lyrics together. As we were writing the lyrics, I was spitting my bars and I just went into Roachee’s “When I’m ‘Ere” lyrics. I was like, “This sounds mad sick!” I had Roachee’s number, so I messaged him, then rang him and spat my bars over the phone and told him the concept. He liked it, so I invited him down to the studio to put his part down, and that’s how the song came together. It probably only took a couple of days. It was super quick.

When it was time to come up with an idea for the music video, my thinking was, “How can we do something that involves all three of us?” I’d always wanted to do a wedding video, so I was like, “Cool. Me and Nolay are gonna get married and Roachee can be the pastor.” That was it. That was the starting point. I pitched the idea to Rico, then we developed it from that stage onwards. I think we got posted on one of the blogs—I think it was The Shade Borough. I can’t remember whose idea it was to send them a picture, but it wasn’t mine [laughs]. Everyone was in the comments arguing about whether it was real. I’ve still got people coming up to me asking if it’s true because it was done so well. We’re going to have to do something else next time, though, because I can’t keep getting married.

[Laughs] It was honestly such a great rollout. You produced Grimace entirely yourself, right? Was it important for you going into the project that you handled all of that yourself?

For me, it was more about when I was away from the scene and the industry, on my own, in the background, but I was still making music. I went out and bought a bunch of equipment, and I just started producing and making beats on and off. It got to a point where I was like, “Do I really want to put myself out there as a producer? Do I just want to focus on being a rapper, being an MC, or whatever?” Then I basically decided, “You know what? I’m going to do something with this stuff.” I really, really, really wanted to, but I was just scared, if I’m being entirely honest with you. Most people know me as an MC, but I just feel so passionate about this side of things as well, so I made the decision to start putting this stuff out.

Yeah, I think it was a smart decision. It makes it feel so much more cohesive.

I think I can be a perfectionist, and I think a lot of people have that problem as well. That’s something that’s kind of prevented me from putting more music out: trying to get everything perfect and right the first time, rather than seeing it as a journey. Like, okay, we can do one project, then we can do a second, then we can do a third. Or we can do one song, two songs, and just keep building. I was trying to do everything and get it all done at once, and I think that crippled me in a way and stopped me from moving forward. So Grimace is my first offering as the artist Griminal is today.

Will you be producing all of your own instrumentals from now on?

Yeah, I’m living by the ethos of under-promising and over-delivering. I don’t wanna say too much or make any big promises, but let’s just say I’ve got music coming and leave it at that [laughs].

Beyond that, what does the future hold? Have you got festivals, live shows, anything like that coming up?

One of the shows I’ve got coming up is 20 Years Of SBTV at the O2 [on November 11]. I knew Jamal [Edwards] personally, like a lot of other people did as well, and to be involved in something like that feels good. Knowing that I knew SB and that I did some of my early freestyles with him, it means a lot to be part of it.. I guess I’m making a comeback, as people would say. I’ll be reunited with some of the artists who were around at the same time I was in the early days, so I’m really looking forward to that one for all those reasons.

Are we going to get you and Ed Sheeran reunited?

I definitely want that to happen. We’ll see what he says!